Another process of detachment
- Edna Schur
- Feb 14
- 3 min read
There is a phase in a woman’s life that begins quietly—often unnoticed from the outside, yet profoundly transformative within.
It doesn’t arrive with a loud bang, but with questions. With unease.
With the subtle sense that something no longer fits.
Perimenopause is more than a hormonal transition.
It is another process of detachment.
Not from the mother’s body this time—but from inner images, inherited belief systems, expectations, loyalties, and imprints that have often been passed down through generations.
Is another process of detachment spiritual, hormonal—or both?
The question inevitably arises:Is this detachment purely spiritual?
Or is it driven by hormones, brain changes, omega-3 deficiency, inflammatory processes, beta-glucan, altered neuroplasticity—in short, biology?
The honest answer is: it is all of it.
During perimenopause, hormonal interactions shift dramatically. Estrogen doesn’t only affect the cycle or skin; it influences the brain, neurotransmitters, emotional filtering, and our capacity to question patterns. At the same time, neural flexibility increases—old programs lose their unquestioned authority.
What once simply was suddenly becomes debatable.
What is truly mine?
In this phase, questions surface that previously had no space:
Which beliefs am I living by—and are they really mine?
Where am I acting out of a need for recognition?
Which values did I absorb without ever examining them?
How much of this once served survival, but no longer serves life?
Many women begin to realize that a significant part of their behavior is imitation: parental patterns, generational caution, moral frameworks that were never consciously chosen.
And suddenly it becomes clear: Not everything I carry belongs to me.
The weight of previous generations
The generation of the 1930s and 1940s was shaped by sheer survival.
Judgment, categorization, vigilance—these were essential. Those who couldn’t quickly identify “who was dangerous” often didn’t survive.
These patterns embedded deeply. Especially in Jewish epigenetics: alertness, mistrust, reading between the lines.
Passed on not consciously, but biologically, emotionally, epigenetically.
But today, the essential question is:Is this form of judging still useful?
If we strive for unity, acceptance, tolerance, and inclusivity, we must recognize that constant judgment also creates separation. Every judgment excludes—even when it once protected.
Retraumatization and collective triggers
October 7 reignited many of these wounds. Suddenly, overt and covert antisemitism resurfaced—locally and globally. At the same time, a striking contradiction emerged: on one side radical inclusivity and identity fluidity; on the other, raw hatred, generalization, projection.
What manifested was more than politics.It was collective retraumatization.Unprocessed trauma from our grandparents resurfacing epigenetically in our nervous systems and behaviors.
With fear, judgment returned. The very judgments we reject when they are directed at us.
Back to detachment
Perimenopause confronts us with a central question:
What am I detaching from now?
From my parents’ judgments?
From spiritual concepts that no longer hold?
From family behavioral patterns?
From loyalties that limit me?
And simultaneously:What do I want to consciously pass on—so my children know where they come from, yet remain free to choose their own path?
The courage to choose anew
Detachment requires strength. It means standing by new perspectives—sometimes against resistance.
It raises fears: Will I still be accepted? Will I still belong?
And yet, it is necessary. Because true maturity is not adaptation—it is integration. Honoring where we come from without being ruled by it.
This process is not a moment. It is a path. It unfolds in waves. And it can feel unfinished—because growth has no final destination.
And God?
Ultimately, the deepest question arises:
What is the plan? What is the meaning?
Perhaps it is this: To realize that detachment is not loss, but return.
Not away from God—but closer to Him.
Not away from family—but into a more honest relationship with them.
Not away from the past—but out of its unconscious grip.
Perhaps the bigger picture is not either/or, but both/and.
And perhaps perimenopause is not an ending—but the beginning of an inner freedom that only becomes possible now.
Another process of detachment. No less sacred than the first.
And how are you coping with your peri- or menopause? Contact me today for support...
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